League of Critics
by The Threat
Summary: Imagine if some of internet's most famed critics were to co-exist with the characters from the works they criticize.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" is created by Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill, and many characters used here are owned by Cinemassacre, Channel Awesome and PBC Productions. Other than the narrator, not one character used here is mine.

* * *

September 2nd, 2009:

That day, a party was held at SGS Museum. I had worked there for one year, and some people apparently thought that was worth celebrating. One of them even assured me that there'll another party later this year, as another employer had been working for them for ten years. The poor man. But enough about that.

I had returned to my own home after an unnecessarily long party. I had hoped to get ten hours of sleep, probably more. If I was hoping to get that much sleep, it probably wasn't a smart thing to do, checking my e-mails first.

As most of you probably remember, I had posted this journal last year, which concerned my trip around the world. To this day, I'm still getting replies to that. The one dumber than the other. Some are several remarks about the surrealism of it, others are questions about what my gender may or may not be (I don't know what I did to make some people think I'm a female). The rest are just complaints as to how it is not suitable for kids to read, or how it's not "christian" enough,... like I said, one reply being dumber than the other. But there was this one message that stuck out. Why? Because this one had nothing to do with my journal. Not directly anyways. It was sent by a guy who called himself Razmere. And I thought Ruxpin was a weird name. Anyway, what he had to say in his message was the following:

"Dear um... Narrator,"

Of course, I never mentioned my name, and my username was just a standard name that the website (where I posted my journal) gives to new people signing up. In other words, he had no name to call me by, so he calls me Narrator. I suppose this person's funny, so I continued reading.

"You're probably wondering why a well-known superhero would be sending you a message."

If this guy Razmere were well-known, I would wonder exactly that. But I never heard of him before, so let's just leave it at me wondering why he's sending me a message.

"It's a long story, but where it comes down to is that we... that is, me and my cohorts, need help and... well, That Guy With The Glasses thought you'd our best bet."

I didn't know this Guy With Glasses, but if he thinks I could be of any use, he must be an idiot.

"Anyway, you've probably heard of these terrorists that are trying to take over the entire entertainment industry."

If only this guy knew what I've been doing in the past few months, prior to that party I mentioned, he'd know I barely had the time to watch the news. In which case, no I don't know about said terrorists.

"But in reality, they're not really terrorists. They're just confused. But... I guess I should really start from the beginning."

It would be nice if he did that before he bragged about him being well-known, but that's just my opinion.

"First, you might want to look at the videos on the links I provided here. Coz believe it or not, that's where my story starts."

I thought of ignoring this, as I needed to get some sleep, but if this really involves terrorists as he claimed, and if my help was AT ALL needed as he suggested, I suppose I had to look through the whole message, look at the videos provided to me, and see where I'll go from there.

* * *

Note: if you're wondering, yes this narrator is the same one from my earlier story, "How I Spent My Summer"


	2. Chapter 2

The videos I mentioned, one turned out to be stranger than the other. First there was this one guy, who called himself Linkara (never mind where that name came from) who ranted about just how stupid this one crossover story was. The crossover in question was between Tracer Bullet, Spaceman Spiff and Stupendous Man. But bearing in mind that all three of them were from the same creator, it surprised me that this Linkara didn't even understand who's idea it was to bring these people together in one story, as they had nothing to do with each other. Anyway, at several intervals during his rant, he kept mentioning this one comic that should be read instead, as this guy is the one who wrote it. Blatant self-advertisement. But it doesn't end there.

Next was a video that had a familiar face. Mind you, I say familiar face, as I had met her in New Jersey, but wasn't sure about her name. Turns out she calls herself Little Miss Gamer. In comparison to that Linkara guy I mentioned, she didn't seem quite as insane... not at the beginning anyway. She was talking about some old game, of which I've forgotten it's title by now, but it is one that got remade and rehashed so many times, in so many ways, the newest version lost the integrity of the original, which seemed to have really ticked her off.

Next came another familiar face. When I first met him, he was referred to as the Nerd, but apparently his full title is the Angry Video Game Nerd. Once I figured that one out, I began wondering whether any of these people have any real names. But I digress. He was ranting about a game, based on the "Black Freighter" comics. And I remember hearing him talk about another game before, he could've just said it's bad, terrible, abominable,... anything but talk about a buffalo's anus or a road-killed skunk. When he said in the end that he couldn't take any more, neither could I. Take any more of his rant, that is.

Then there was someone who called herself Marzgurl (I know, I wish I was making this up). Her rant had to do with that old cartoon-show, based off of "Captain Baseball-Bat Boy". While I do agree that the show differed a great deal from the comics, and of course somebody needs to call out to... whoever put that together, that he should really listen to the fans more. But instead, she started to make death-threats.

Upon this, came two familiar faces for the price of one. That is to say, the next two looked very much alike, you'd almost say they're the same person. One of them was a bum. In name and in being. Anyway, this Bum saw the movie "Kane" in the theatres (never mind how he got in) and wished to share his opinion about it with the internet (never mind how he got a computer, a camera or an internet-connection). It turned out to be the worst movie he had ever seen in his life. I've yet to see it myself, but knowing that the movie is based on this Charles F. Kane, I probably wouldn't be interested in watching it either.

The other guy, I remember him being called the Critic before. But HIS full title is the Nostalgia Critic. What he had to say about the "Jack Bandit" movie was... almost as harsh as the Nerd was about that video game. Almost I say, because once he saw the name of the guy who wrote and directed it, he... pretty much exploded into insane anger. Even the camera-guy had to walk away from him that time.

Furthermore, there was some Sage, some Chick With Goggles, a Board James (who resembled the Nerd), the Bullshitman (who sounded like said Nerd), some French guy, someone called Spoony,... the list goes on. While I do agree that most of the games, comics, movies, TV-shows mentioned in their rants either should've been done better, or in the worst cases shouldn't even have been made, but none of that is any reason for any of these people to turn so inhumanly insane. Unfortunately, even when I got through all of their videos, there were still two more to go. One of them, by the looks of the link, came from Faux television. I hoped I wouldn't have had to see that reporter I met in Washington this time. No such luck, as it turned out.

The woman was showing a building at the background, that she described to be a movie-company's main building, had been taken over by a group of terrorists, but what they wanted was still unclear.

The second video I mentioned, showed all of the people from the earlier videos, watching the report made by that Faux news-reporter, upon which they (of course) stated they're not terrorists, but they want people to bow to their will, or else they'd kill the hostages. No terrorists, all right. What are their demands? That the entertainment industry is to only release what they want, only publish what they want,.... you get the basic idea.

From here on in, Razmere's message continued.

"As you can see, these people got a little upset about the more recent activity from all these people. It really surprised me they didn't go mad after seeing The Dork Knight, but then again the fact that they liked that one pretty much proves their state of mind, doesn't it?"

I had never heard of "The Dork Knight" so in all honesty I couldn't answer his question if I wanted to.

"So once I saw this message from them, me and my Lovely Assistant knew it was time for action."

"Do tell." I said to the screen, even though I knew perfectly well that he couldn't hear me.


	3. Chapter 3

So Razmere's message continued as follows:

"In order to take action, we agreed that we couldn't do much by ourselves.

"How do you plan on taking them down?" my Lovely Assistant asked me.

"Don't worry." I assured her, "At there level of insanity, they're hardly any more of a threat than even the Joker ever was."

"Each one of them, maybe." my Lovely Assistant agreed, "But altogether?"

I hadn't thought of that: "You know. Maybe you're right. We could use some help here."

So hoping there was some way we could find help, I grabbed hold of my cross, silently praying for help."

Upon reading that last bit, I face-palmed. If this guy had read my journal, he'd know that that wouldn't help. So why did he think it necessary to mention it? Once I continued reading, I understood why.

"That's when an idea hit me. That video that those people made, it showed virtually everyone who worked for the Critic's website. The Critic himself, Chester A. Bum, that guy who thinks he's that Planeteer Ma-Ti, Nostalgia Chick, Little Miss Gamer, Spoony, Linkara, Film Brain, 90's Kid,... even the Nerd and his friend the Guitar Guy was there, and they're not even part of the website. But for some reason, That Guy With The Glasses wasn't there. So if he's not there to help everyone, maybe he too is trying to put a stop to what's going on.

"I got it!" I shouted, after which I surfed the website, and found That Guy's video.

"What?" my Lovely Assistant asked.

"The answer to my prayer." I answered."

How nice of him to tell me that praying helped him. Even then, since I didn't see how seeing a video by some guy with glasses could help, nor did I understand why he had to capitalize those words as though it's the guy's actual name, I wasn't (and still am not) convinced that praying was helpful in any sense. But again, I digress. Rather than continuing telling the story, he provided a link to That Guy's video, which I watched.

It showed a guy, whom I remembered seeing before. Not just because he had the same face as the Critic, but because he was at Celebrity Deathmatch as well when the Critic fought the Nerd.

"Oh! Tek matte!" That Guy started his video, saying something that I recognize as a greeting used in some TV-show or other, "Didn't hear you come in. Greetings and welcome to 'Ask That Guy With The Glasses'."

After that, a classical song started playing, and after a few seconds, a voice asked: "Why are you still here?"

"Because I don't want to destroy entertainment like everyone else!" That Guy shouted out, "There are so many things I'd gladly do, like sodomizing young kids, slicing up puppy dogs,... but destroying an industry that fries people's brains? Never. That's why I'm still here."

I began wondering That Guy's state of mind upon hearing that. He should be called That Guy With No Common Sense. Unfortunately, his video didn't end there.

"What can you do against them?" the voice from before asked.

"That's a very good question." That Guy replied, "The answer is simple. I'm just one man by myself, doing the man downstairs' work. I could ask Lucifire's help, but I can imagine what he'd say if I do."

This is where he started to make the image shake, and make some... unusual noices. I assume he was trying to scare us, but I merely looked at this and made a face. Like I said, I'm curious about this guy's state of mind.

"Do you need some help?" that voice spoke again.

That Guy had put a huge smile on his face as he answered: "Yes..."

"What can we do?" the voice wondered.

"Well, if you can help, just come to Chicago." That Guy explained, "Visit the Pixel Palace, ask for Dominique, ask him for me, That Guy With The Glasses, and he'll take you to me. Because as we all know..."

At that point, a song was played, that had the lyrics: "United we stand, divided we fall."

"This is That Guy With The Glasses." he suddenly ended his video, "Saying: there's no such thing as a stupid question... until YOU ask it."

He winks, and ended his video.

So once I saw That Guy's video, I continued reading Razmere's message:

" "That sounds like a great idea." my Lovely Assistant said.

"Yeah, it is." I said to her, "Off to Chicago then!"

So together, under a false identity, we managed to board a plane and headed for Chicago. I don't know what That Guy With The Glasses has in mind, but anything is better than letting the Nostalgia Critic or his friends take over the world. Of course!"

Reading Razmere's "Critic and friends" made me realize something. Last time I saw the Critic and the Nerd, the two could rip each other into shreds. Seeing that they are suddenly friends should have been a good thing, but since they seemed to have set their differences aside so they could take over the entertainment industry, it sickened me that they'd only become friends if it meant to start some kind of new entertainment order. I sighed deeply at that realization, before continuing Razmere's message.


	4. Chapter 4

"So once we agreed to help, me and my Lovely Assistant headed to Chicago, entered the Pixel Palace, where this Dominique guy brought us to see That Guy With The Glasses. Once we were there, I was surprised. Not just because of who else was there, but also because there were so very few of us, including me and my Lovely Assistant."

I began wondering how many times this Razmere can keep talking about his assistant without ever thinking of telling me her name. Unless "Lovely" is her first name and "Assistant" her last, as he kept capitalizing those words.

"Anyway. Who else was there? One of them called himself Captain S. I didn't really know what to think of this guy. I mean, someone who'd carry game-console equipment like a controller, a light-gun, and even a mouse... I didn't know if this guy was serious, or just there for the joke. Anyway, another person there was the Irate Gamer. Of all people. I mean, many internet-folks would love to see the Gamer take on the Nerd, but I could never think it would be under these circumstances."

Nor did I ever think I'd have to read a message, written by a guy who just assumes that I know who or what he's talking about. If I'm to believe this German professor I met through my job, one should never ASSUME, coz otherwise one would be making an ASS out of U and ME. I suppose that's exactly what Razmere was doing. Now you're probably wondering, if this message bothers me so much, why don't I just ignore it? Well, this Razmere seems to think I can help save the world, so I want to know why. So why don't I skip a few paragraphs? Well, that would be like skipping a chapter in a book.

"And then there's this girl I have never heard of, who said her name's Ana Free."

Finally, I thought to myself, one person I actually do know. Although, one of her songs was specifically about not starting a war, or fighting one for that matter, so why would she even want to be part of this?

"So I walked to this girl and asked her: "Who are you?"

"You don't know me?" she sounded surprised, "I can go all over Europe and people would recognize me, I come here and nobody seems to recognize me."

"Chill now." the Gamer spoke, "Don't take this too personally."

And that's when That Guy With The Glasses came in: "Ah, so this will be my army of fighters."

"Army?" Ana couldn't understand, "What are you talking about?"

"Didn't I say in my video?" That Guy questioned, "I asked if anyone would come to fight the Critic and his crew."

"I thought you meant we'd put a stop to what they're doing." Ana replied, "Talk them out of it, see the error of their ways."

"Girl!" I spoke to her, "You're living in a dream world."

Before she could retort, my Lovely Assistant had something to say: "But she makes an excellent point. Why fighting them if there are better alternatives?"

"IF there are better alternatives." That Guy stressed the word 'if', "Coz right at this moment, I don't think they'll be in the mood to listen."

"Yeah." Captain S agreed, "I mean, if they could get Z to be part of this, they must really be gone mad."

"Z?" the Gamer wondered.

"Little Miss Gamer?" Captain S reminded him.

The Gamer oh-ed at that, just when I heard a toilet being flushed, and a short time later somebody else entered the room.

"Oof..." that somebody else sighed, "That needed to get out."

"Hey!" I recognized him, "Aren't you the Happy Video Game Nerd?" "

I sighed when I read that name. On the one hand it should be obvious, if there's an Angry Nerd there should be a Happy Nerd. On the other, why is it that nobody uses any real names here?

" "Ah! Two more joined in!" the Happy Nerd sounded delighted.

"We're still too small an army to stop..." the Gamer began, just before he got interrupted.

"Would you stop calling this an army?!" Ana spoke, "I mean, I thought we're supposed..."

"Yeah, yeah..." That Guy interrupted her, "Save the world, bring peace, no army, ringelingeding..."

"But let's look at this realisticly." the Gamer brought up, "There are like... seven of us. What can we do against a group of thirty?"

"I wish my friends could make it here to help." Captain S moaned.

"There may be someone who can help us." That Guy brought up.

We all looked at him, hoping to hear an answer soon, which he gave us: "The Narrator."

"We have a narrator?" I asked him.

That Guy laughed out loud: "No, that's not it. I meant the guy who wrote that journal last year."

"What journal?" the Happy Nerd asked.

"Wait, you mean that guy we met at Celebrity Deathmatch?" Captain S asked, "Who later posted what happened on the internet?"

"Yes!" That Guy answered.

"Why do you call him the Narrator?" "

After that, Razmere wrote what That Guy said, which merely confirmed what I previously thought. That the fact that I never mentioned my name, nor have an actual username, was reason enough to give me a nickname instead. And since I was telling a story, what better nickname than "The Narrator".

"So when That Guy was done explaining, Ana had her thoughts about involving you in this: "Wait a minute, last time I met him, he wanted to stay out of trouble. I don't think we should drag him into this."

"Well, that pussy won't have to." That Guy replied, "But he did mention in his journal that he met just the right people that can help us."

"So even if he's not up for it, at least his contacts will?" Captain S wondered, "Clever."

"But trust me." That Guy continued, "If we're to believe him, he knows some magic, and is a master in martial arts." "

I seriously began wondering when I ever said I was a master in anything. But then, not many of the things That Guy had said so far made much sense.

"This is where the Gamer had a problem: "That's a lot of if's there."

"Maybe we should contact this Narrator and see what he can do." my Lovely Assistant suggested.

"Sounds good to me." the Happy Nerd agreed, "But... does anyone know how to contact him?"

"He gave me his e-mail address before." Captain S replied, "But for some reason it doesn't work." "

In other words, I thought to myself, this Captain, if he is indeed one of those people I met at Celebrity Deathmatch, he still hasn't figured out that I gave him a false address because I wasn't sure if he could be trusted.

"This is where I wanted to make a suggestion: "Wait, if he posted his journal on the internet, isn't there any way we can contact him through that website?"

"That's a great idea!" That Guy sounded happier than before, "Please do that."

"Alright." I got up, stretched my fingers, then asked: "Anyone got a computer?"

And so, once I found one, I typed this message. Hopefully you get to read this in time. Quickly, because I don't know how much more the entertainment industry can hold against these people."


	5. Chapter 5

Never mind how this Razmere could possibly remember all the conversations he had with everyone. What I wonder is what makes That Guy think I even know all the right people. Unless... I did mention having met with this Marco in Seattle, who had started to form a group of people. If I contacted him, he may know who would help. I could also ask Hana, but... the thing with her is that I never contact her, she contacts me. And every time she does, she erases all of her tracks. But that's not the worst problem. If I were to catch a flight to the U.S. I could easily sleep on the plane, so that would solve my sleep deprivation. The only problem, last time I been in the States, I didn't exactly make good friends there. So I doubt getting in would be easy. Then again, that Marco I mentioned could teleport, so if I contact him, transporting myself would be easy. So I did exactly that. I sent him an e-mail, upon which I waited for him to either answer, or to appear in my room. The latter of which seemed improbable, as I never told him where I lived. Either way, the only thing I could do, was wait.

I must have fallen asleep on my desk while I was waiting, because somebody had to wake me up. I immediately rose from my seat, only to see that Marco did arrive.

"You?" he appeared surprised.

"So you got my e-mail." it wasn't a question.

"Not really." Marco replied, "I was called up by some woman, who told me I had to go to this address to pick someone up. But she didn't tell me it was you."

I sighed: "Hana, I don't know how or why you do it..."

"Who?" Marco couldn't understand.

"Never mind." I shook it off, "I need to be at a place called the Pixel Palace in Chicago."

"That's a five star hotel." Marco sounded surprised, "Why would you want to go there?"

"It's a long story, and I don't have the time to tell you." I replied, "But maybe someone who's there does."

"All right." Marco didn't sound too confident, "If you say..."

My phone interrupted him. I went to pick it up. This is when something odd struck me. The phone I use is not one you can find in the stores. It was one that was given to me by a Japanese sorceress, or something to that effect. It's a magical phone, through which Hana had been calling me on several occasions. And yet, despite all it's magic, it still couldn't keep any trace to Hana's whereabouts. How does she do these things?

"Hello?" I answered the phone.

"Looks like the fate of the world hangs on your shoulders now." Hana spoke.

I didn't know whether I should be happy to hear from her again, or somewhat annoyed with her statement. But I answered anyway: "Why are you calling?"

"Well, that e-mail you got did say that those people you're about to meet think you're well connected." Hana answered.

"Which I'm not." I replied.

"Aren't you?" Hana questioned, "Remember, Marco knows some people, including that El Barto. And I can contact a few people who can help, just as I contacted..."

"Hold it!" I interrupted her, "Why are you doing all this?"

"After what I had put you through, I owe you." she answered.

"That's it?" I didn't believe her.

"I could tell you, but you wouldn't believe me if I did." Hana answered, "But let's not get drifted away here. Anyone in particular you want to be there?"

I had to think this over. I remember having met with some strong people, like those mountain men in West-Virginia, Jason Voorhees in New Jersey, those colored people in California, as well as that darkwinged duck... but I don't think either one of them would be eager to help me. Jason, maybe, but how do I contact a hermit like him. Suddenly, it occurred to me that I don't need to contact them particularly. I went back to the e-mail that Razmere sent me. Through the links he provided, I managed to find the websites that hosted their videos. And through looking at the videos' titles, I came up with a few ideas of whom we should invite.


	6. Chapter 6

So I told Hana who she should try to get a hold of. Upon having done so, I was curious to know just one thing: "Will you be there as well?"

There was a pause at first, but she answered anyway: "I can't. Even if I wanted to."

"IF you wanted to?" I couldn't understand that.

"I don't really care much about entertainment myself, so I see no reason to get involved." she replied.

"By helping me, you're already involved." I reminded her.

"I'll see what I can do." Hana changed the subject, "You'll hear from me."

She hung up. I quickly looked at the screen, but all it showed was "unknown number", so again I have no way of contacting her.

"That's ambitious." Marco remarked, "To ask those people you just requested."

"Maybe." I responded.

"But what if those that you have... that woman getting for you, what if they can't make it?" Marco asked.

I sighed: "Hopefully, those people at the Pixel Palace will have a plan that we can use."

"Hopefully?" Marco sounded unconvinced.

"Hey! We're dealing with people who want to decide what will and what will not be released onto the public." I told him, "They want to create their own reign of fear, that will only cause more trouble than they're solving."

I forgot I hadn't told Marco who we were dealing with, so he looked confused as to what I was talking about.

"Never mind." I shrugged it off, "Just take me there."

Marco sighed: "Alright. This better be worth it."

As he had done before, he got a hold on me, and together we teleported to the main entrance to this Pixel Palace.

"Alright." I said, as I headed inside.

"Wait a minute." Marco stopped me, "What about me?"

I turned to answer: "You either come along, or you go back to... whatever it is you were doing."

Marco seemed to need to think about that. I decided there was no time to waste, so I headed inside anyway.

Inside, there were a lot of strange people. I'm not sure how I should describe them. One of them resembled this pig, which I remember to have seen in a game I used to play when I was a kid. Another looked like one of those glowing characters from the "Evolver" games. In any case, there was this one guy that the others met so to meet with this Guy With The Glasses. I looked around and noticed the bartender. This bartender, I must say, he looked exactly like the Critic, That Guy With The Glasses, and that Bum. I don't know why there seem to be so many look-alikes in Chicago, but since these three seemed to be connected in some shape or form, it wouldn't surprise me if this bartender is this Dominique I'm looking for.

I headed to the bar, where finding an empty seat, or some kind of an opening so I could get close enough to the bartender to talk, was impossible to find. I eventually found an opening, right next to a huge plant. A strange place to put one, but I didn't care about that anymore. I got there and talked to the tender.

"Excuse me!" I exclaimed.

"Hold your horses, eh." he replied, with an accent that resembled cockney, but I'm fairly certain that it isn't.

"Are you Dominique?" I asked him, "Do you know some guy with glasses."

"Didn't yah hear me?" he replied.

"Are you the Narrator?" I heard a woman's voice speak from behind the plant I mentioned before.

I turned to look. I couldn't see her face, so I tried to move the plant a little so I could.

"Who's asking?" I asked.

"Don't touch that!" the bartender shouted.

"What?" I replied, "This plant?"

"Well?" the woman kept asking, "Are you, or aren't you?"

Two people at once, one scolding, one asking. Which one could I answer first? Should I answer first?

"I'll have a beer, please." I recognized Marco's voice.

"One beer?" the bartender replied, "Coming your way."

With him distracted, I turned to Marco.

"You decided to come after all?" I asked him.

"Well, actually..." Marco started, but couldn't finish.

"Are you the Narrator?" the woman started to sound very persistent, "Are you the one that Razmere sent that e-mail to?"

That was a name I recognized: "You know Razmere?"

"I'm his assistant." she replied.

So she was that Lovely Assistant Razmere kept referring to. Wish I could tell if she looked as lovely as he suggested, but since I couldn't see her face, that wasn't an option.

"Then I suppose I am the one you lot call the Narrator." I replied.

"Follow me." she said.

I did exactly that. She headed to a door behind the bar, and I followed. Doing so, I could only see her back, but I still didn't see her face.

Either way, she lead me into the room where everyone else was gathered. I did recognize that guy with a blue coat and a large "S" on said garment, but I never would've guessed he'd call himself after the "S". I had never seen Razmere, the Happy Video Game Nerd or the Irate Gamer before, so I had to guess who was who. There was one masked guy, and with Razmere claiming to be a superhero, it would be a reasonable deduction to say that the masked guy is Razmere. The other two guys, one had a huge smile on his face, as though he were permanently happy, and the other had a strange expression on his face, as though he never smiled much in his life, so I guessed he's the irritated one, the Irate one if you like. The only one that I was happy to see, and seemed to be just as happy to see me, was Ana.

"Long time no see." I told her.

Ana smiled: "Had any trouble getting here? I mean, last time I saw you..."

"I don't think the authorities even know I'm here." I assured her.

"Wow, you almost sounded like you're America's most wanted." the Happy Nerd remarked.

I didn't want to get into that, so I asked another question: "So Ana... why are you even here?"

"Isn't that obvious?" she answered, "My record company is afraid of releasing anything new because of these guys. How can I ever share my songs with anyone now?"

"Seems sensible." I replied, and despite the tone I might have used, I did mean that, unfortunately, that's not how it sounded to anyone else."

"What's that mean?" the Gamer asked.

"Oh!" another one's voice suddenly sounded, "Guttentag, didn't hear you come in."

"Didn't you use German before?" Captain S asked him.

"Yes, but I thought it be sensible if I greeted our new soldier in German." the guy, whom I recognized as Thé Guy With The Glasses, explained.

I sighed: "Why does everyone keep confusing my native language for German?"

"How many times do I have to tell you?" Ana was close to freaking out, "Stop calling us soldiers!"

"Guys?!" I heard the Assistant call everyone, which was exactly the moment I realized I had forgotten about her.

All of us turned to look at her. She was sitting behind a computer, so again, I couldn't see her face. She turned the screen so she could show us what she wanted us to see. But in doing so, she had to look behind the screen, to be sure she wouldn't cause any accidents, and therefor, I still couldn't see her face.

"They posted another video?" Razmere asked.

"So it would seem." the Assistant replied.

"What are they saying?" the Gamer asked her.

The Assistant clicked on the computer's mouse, so to play the video.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hello..." the man in the video started, "... I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I'm doing this so YOU don't have to."

"Whatever 'this' is." I remarked.

"Twenty-four hours have passed since we started doing this..." the Critic explained.

"Already?" I wondered.

"You mean has it already been that long?" Captain S questioned instead.

In all honesty, since I didn't know about this thing since a few hours ago, I didn't think twenty-four hours would have passed since they started this. Thinking about it, Razmere did make it seem like it has been going on for days by now. And the fact that Ana's company had become too afraid to publish anything... let's just say S was right to say that twenty-four hours was a very short time.

"And nobody has responded to our demands." the Critic continued, "So how about this. You don't give in within the hour after this video's posted, and I'll kill this woman here."

He raised his nine-mill gun, and pointed it to a woman who was crouched down, her make-up wearing off, yet she didn't seem to be in much distress, as she spoke: "Why don't you just shoot if you're really planning to..."

"SHUT UP YOU BITCH!" the Critic shouted, after which he slapped her in the face.

"Alright." the Critic looked directly into the camera, but what he said was clearly meant for the one behind it, "You leave the camera here and lock her away."

"Was that the Resident?" the Gamer seemed to have recognized the woman, "How did she get in there?"

"She's a journalist. They'd always find their way in." Razmere replied.

"The Resident?" I asked.

"You don't know about her?" the Gamer couldn't understand.

"Well, since he's not a local, it's possible that he's not familiar with local celebrities." the Happy Nerd figured.

"But I don't understand." Ana started, "What could possibly make them go haywire like that?"

"That's a very good question." That Guy With The Glasses responded.

But clearly that's all he had to say: "That's it? Just that it's a very good question?"

"Well, Narrator..." That Guy retorted, "... if you got a better idea, why won't you start wearing my robe, my glasses..."

As he spoke, he took off his robe and threw it at me, only for the Assistant to catch it. Only she caught it in such a way that it covered her head, much like kids pulling a sheet over their heads to look like ghosts. And while still under that, she headed to That Guy, trying to calm him down.

"There there." she said, "No need to get excited."

This started to become strange, so I asked Razmere: "Er... why is it that no matter how, where or when I look at your Assistant, I never see her face?"

"What do you mean?" he asked in return.

"Guys, can we focus on the task at hand?" the Gamer reminded us.

"You're right." Captain S agreed, upon which he turned to That Guy, "What is your..."

He couldn't finish his sentence. Once everyone of us noticed, we looked at him, and upon doing so we also saw That Guy, who had sat down, and appeared to be asleep.

"What the fuck?" the Gamer started, "He's just napping?"

"Maybe he just didn't have much sleep." the Assistant concluded.

"Makes two of us." I remarked, but nobody seemed to hear.

"Well, then it's just up to you and your contacts." the Happy Nerd turned to me.

"Er... now really, Nerd..." I started, but he interrupted me.

"Happy Nerd!" he interrupted, although he somehow, despite exclaiming this, sounded more delighted than earlier.

"Happy it is..." I sighed, but again, I couldn't say anything.

"It's too bad, really." Captain S spoke, "I mean, the Angry Video Game Nerd had been visited by Jason, Freddy, Leatherface, and many others before. It was as though they somehow knew that the Nerd was reviewing their games. But now that they want to control our entertainment, it's like they don't know anything."

"Weren't those people you mentioned bad guys?" Ana remarked, "Why would they want to save the world?"

"Hold it!" I interrupted, "What are you talking about, S?"

Before he answered, he was angry about something: "I do have a name."

"Yes, and you failed to tell me that name." I reminded him, "Much like anyone else here."

"It's Belmont. Chad Belmont." Captain S said.

As I remember having heard that name somewhere before, it must have made a weird expression appear on my face, which he misunderstood, and therefor added: "Or you can call me Captain, if you don't feel worthy to use my name."

"Fine, Captain Snob." I replied, "But seriously now, what are you talking about? The Nerd having had many visitors?"

"If you'd have watched his videos, you'd know that he's often visited by other people." the Happy Nerd, or Happy, told me.

"Show me." I told them.

Nobody really understood why I requested this. But in fairness, I didn't understand what this was about either. When it comes to both Leatherface and Jason, I know that both of them are cut off from the outside world. For as far as I'm aware, they never even heard of the internet. So how would they know where or when to visit who when someone talks about them?


	8. Chapter 8

As I requested, those videos were shown to me. In doing so, I noticed some strange things. The Jason Voorhees in this one video didn't at all look like the one I had met in Crystal Lake. Then there was this moment in which the Nerd would tear his shirt open to reveal his Superman outfit. If he had Superman's powers, why was he such an easy target for Jason? Or anyone else he encountered later. At some point he even met with Spider-Man. I've never really met or seen Spider-Man, I can only guess that what they showed in the movies were accurate. In which case, this Spider-Man couldn't be real either, as it was clearly some guy in a Halloween-suit. Same goes for Bugs Bunny, who also appeared in these videos. And I barely scratched the surface here. Of course, given that we didn't have more than an hour, they had to quickly go through these videos, show me the things I needed to see, but I saw enough.

"This doesn't make sense." I stated.

"I know." Captain S sounded irritated.

"Why would anyone want to impersonate these people?" I wondered, "How can anyone do that?"

"Impersonate?" everyone questioned.

As I wondered when they had time to rehearse this moment of unison, I tried to explain: "They have to be."

"And you're sure about that, because...?" the Gamer questioned.

"Maybe it's best if we search the house and investigate." Razmere suggested.

"Investigate his house?" Happy sounded worried, "Wouldn't that be a waste of time? I mean, first of all getting there, then sitting there to hope we'd be visited?"

"Getting there shouldn't be a problem." Captain S said, "I know a quick route."

Ana turned to me: "Looks like you just gave them something to think about."

I sighed: "That remains to be seen."

Captain S instructed us that we had to hang on to him. Everyone somehow managed, but in doing so, there wasn't enough space left for me. Since I was already friends with Ana, I was fairly certain that she wouldn't mind if I held on to her. I mean, this way, indirectly, I do have a hold on the Captain.

For some reason, that didn't even sound right when writing this.

Anyway, I could see Captain S make some kind of move with his hand. Not sure what it was, but after that I heard him shout "Say..." and I didn't get the rest. Upon shouting this word, we somehow disappeared from this room and ended up somewhere else. I didn't recognize the area, but it looked as though we were on top of a building.

"We all made it?" Captain S asked.

The Gamer did a quick look around: "I think so."

"No we didn't." Razmere complained, "Where's my Lovely Assistant?"

"I'm here, Razmere." I heard a voice speak, but I didn't see the one to whom it belonged.

"Where are you?" Razmere asked her.

"I'm still at the hotel." the Assistant answered, "I can monitor what you're doing from here. Now go!"

"Alright." Captain S said, "Time to jump roofs and..."

He suddenly held out his hand, surprised of what he held.

"And drink beer?" he sounded surprised.

"Where did you get that bottle?" I asked him.

"It's how this works." Captain S explained, "As defender of Videoland, I enter a game and replace the character that you normally play as. And whichever character I'm supposed to be now, he probably uses these beer bottles as weapons."

I looked at the bottle. If it was beer, then it was of a brand I had never heard of. I suddenly realized I was thirsty, so I asked him: "Got another one?"

"Er... sure." he answered and gave me a bottle.

I opened the bottle and took one sip. I immediately spat out what I drank.

"You call this beer?" I complained.

"Why? Can't hold your liquor?" the Gamer wondered.

"Hey! This stuff may be a lot of things, but beer isn't one of them." I told him.

"Didn't think you're the beer-drinking type." Ana sounded somewhat disappointed.

"I'm from the land of beers." I explained, "Even those who never had one would recognize what is and what isn't beer."

Happy noticed something: "Wait, isn't this the type that the Angry Nerd drinks the whole time?"

"Does he?" I asked, "No wonder he's gone nuts."

"Er... Guys!" Razmere pointed up.

That's when we all saw it. A zeppelin was hovering over the roofs, dropping bombs. The bombs weren't dangerous enough to destroy buildings, but get one of those on your head and you'd be in for some serious pain.

"That must be one of the game's enemies." Captain S said.

Knowing that the drink I held tasted more like sewer water, I didn't think it mattered if it were wasted. I threw it at the zeppelin, which appeared to be taking damage.

"Good thinking, Narrator." Captain S complimented me, upon which he started throwing more bottles at the zeppelin, until it disappeared on sight.

"You should really give yourself more credit." I heard Ana say.

"Don't get me started on that." I replied.

Ana didn't seem to understand my reply: "What?"

"Never mind." I said.

"Everyone. Follow my lead." Captain S ordered.


	9. Chapter 9

We followed Captain S, who jumped from one rooftop to another, throwing bottles of beer to more zeppelins, cannons and walking TV's with a fish riding it (don't ask). At some point, we arrived on one large roof. It didn't seem like much at first, not to me anyway.

"There!" Captain S pointed, "That's where the Nerd lives."

He pointed into the distance, where I could see a small house. But that house didn't look any different from others, so how could this Captain even know this for sure?

"Then we better get going." Razmere said.

Just as he was about to move, something flew over our heads. It stopped Razmere dead in his tracks and had nearly everyone else paralyzed. At some, all of us did have to look up to see what was flying. We looked, and saw what looked like a giant guitar, using a helicopter's propeller to fly.

"This is a game?" I said, "What kind of guy designed this?"

"Not even the Angry Nerd liked it." the Happy Nerd told me, "And this game was supposed to be about him."

"Alright then." Captain S spoke, "Lemme handle this."

Just as he was about to throw a bottle, something, or someone else already shot it, causing it to crash.

"That was brief." I remarked.

"That wasn't me." Captain S stated.

"No." the Gamer started, "But I think I know did this."

He pointed to where we had to look. We saw someone, who wore almost exactly the same thing as Captain S. That is, he wore the same type of coat, but unlike S's, that one was red and had a huge N sewn on it. Other than that, he too wore a game console controller on his belt and carried a light gun. Next thing he tells us, he's called Captain N.

"Who are you?" Ana asked him.

"I'm Captain N." he answered.

"Really..." I remarked, "I never would have guessed."

"I'm defender of Videoland." he continued.

"Oh no you're not!" Captain S shouted, "I'm the one that saved Videoland!"

"Oh really?" N disagreed.

"A battle between two captains." Razmere spoke, "Who would win?"

"While they fight, we're wasting time." Ana reminded everyone.

Possibly, she started something that would eventually lead into convincing the two captains to stop fighting over who's the real defender. I wouldn't know for sure, as something pulled me away from there.

That something pulled me behind a billboard. I had to turn to see what it was. Or rather who it was. It was a woman. Although I knew I had seen her face before, I wasn't sure where I knew it from, so I didn't know who she was.

"You're easier to track in the real world." she spoke.

That's when I did recognize her voice: "Hana?"

"Yes I know you have a lot of questions, and no I have no time to answer them all." she said before I could ask anything, "I managed to contact everyone you asked me to contact."

Asking the questions she was referring to was indeed the first thing that came to mind. So much so, I knew I should reply to what she really said, but some part of my brain wanted to ask the questions anyway, so as I was in an inner struggle as to what I should and should not ask, I couldn't bring out a word.

"However, not all of them are available. So you'll have to do it with the ones I could get." she continued.

I shook my head, trying to snap back into this: "Right. So who did you get?"

While the others were busy doing... whatever it is that has them wasting time, I discussed some matters with Hana. I told her exactly what she should do. Where to send everyone, when to contact the terrorists,... and I, along with the others will take care of the rest. Or so I hoped.

"You can still back out of this." Hana told me, "I can tell that you're too tired to try anything."

"Maybe." I replied, "But if these guys take over the entertainment industry, they'll also decide whether or not any of my works should be published. They'll probably even try and delete my journal, which I have spent so much time on typing it on my computer. If they destroy all that, I won't be able to sleep at all. Or live for that matter."

Hana seemed to understand. She wanted to say just one more thing, but that's when somebody called out to me.

"Narrator!" I recognized the Gamer's voice.

I sighed: "Why don't they ask my name."

"Trust me." Hana told me, "For your own good, it's best if you didn't tell anyone your real name just yet."

I sighed again: "So 'Narrator' it is, then."

I turned to walk away from her: "I hope to see you again."

Hana said nothing. I turned to ask why, but by then she was already gone. I don't know how she did that, nor how she even got there. But I hope that one day she'll explain it all to me.


	10. Chapter 10

I returned to the others, and allowed Captain S to return us to the real world. He had to fight it out with Captain N first, but eventually the Happy Nerd decided to draw straws. So we returned to the real world, somehow ending up in what I recognized as the Angry Nerd's room.

"You wanted to come to this loser's room?" Captain N asked.

The Happy Nerd couldn't understand: "Why is he a loser to you?"

"Well, lemme put it this way..." Captain N explained, "What if you, like myself, go through all the most dangerous things, trying to save two worlds, then return home, tell your dad about them, who then decides to have these adventures turned into a TV-show, which that Critic criticized, and then this Nerd could never beat him to death, wouldn't you call him a loser?"

"Beat him to death?" Ana started, "Just for not liking some show?"

"For not liking MY show about ME!" Captain N exclaimed.

"Alright, you don't have to shout like that." Ana told him.

"Don't feel too bad about it." Captain S assured him, "My show isn't exactly selling either."

"Alright, let's not discuss any of that right now, okay?" the Gamer said.

"Not?" Captain N sounded somewhat anxious.

While they were talking, I noticed something flying into the room. I don't know what it was. Best way to describe it is that it looked like a flying fireball, giving off a white light rather than yellow-red-ish type.

"Er... guys." I told everyone.

Everyone stopped talking and looked at me. They must have noticed that I was looking at something else, as they looked in the same direction as I did.

"Er... what are you seeing?" Captain S asked me.

"You're not seeing that?" I pointed to the ball of fire and looked at everyone, who merely nodded.

Upon that, I don't think I really heard anything, but I somehow knew that the fireball asked me: "You can see me?"

This is when I realized, again, that I'll never get used to this eye-sight of mine. Should you remember, during my trip around the world, I died once, but was brought back to life. I don't know how or why, but for some reason, since my coming back to life, I started seeing things no one else could see. This way, I saw a shinigami in Japan, and a few ghosts in some of the old buildings that my job has been taking me to.

"Maybe, this would work better." the fireball said.

At that point, it changed into a more recognizable form. And somehow, ever since then, everyone else could see it too.

"Meh..." the more recognizable form spoke, "... What's up, Doc?"

"Bugs Bunny?" Captain N was amazed.

"He still looks like a guy in a suit." I said.

"Sorry, doc." it said, "How's this?"

It then changed into Spider-Man. But not unlike Bugs Bunny, this too didn't look real in any way. Still, the fact that Bugs Bunny could appear out of nowhere, and suddenly change into Spider-Man, did capture everyone's attention.

"Who... or what are you?" the Happy Nerd asked.

It took the form of... just some kid, who then explained: "Unlike you, I don't have a corporeal body. And whatever body I do posses is not... well usually can't be seen by your eyes."

Everyone then looked at me. I can only assume they wanted to ask me why I could see it, which made me think that they didn't read my journal, which in turn made me wonder how any of them could even know about me at all.

"So how come can we see you now?" I asked him.

"Because I'm in your heads now." he explained, "I'm making you see, hear, feel, smell, whatever I want you to."

"Wait a minute." Razmere had another question, "You're the one we've been seeing in those videos then?"

"Not only in this Nerd's videos." he answered, "I've also been playing Nightshade in your video."

He pointed to the Happy Nerd when he said that: "As well as yours (points to the Gamer), that Critic's, Linkara's, Little Miss Gamer's,..."

"Wait." there was something that Captain N didn't understand, "If you're in our heads, then how could you appear in those videos?"

"Well, if you think about it, pictures are made out of pixels, chemicals, and whatnot." I explained, "So if something is powerful enough to make a projection of itself in our heads..."

"Who knows what it can do with camera's and videotapes." Ana finished my sentence.

"Okay, but that doesn't explain one other thing." the Gamer wondered, "Why?"

"I was bored." he answered.

There was a moment of silence, which I then interrupted: "So, er..."

I didn't know his name, so it said: "Call me Mike."

"Mike." I replied, "Since you're so powerful, why didn't you do something to stop the Nerd, or anyone else from doing anything?"

"I'm not that powerful." Mike explained, "I might be able to show myself to all of you, but that's it. I can make two, maybe three of you feel pain if I wanted to, but now that I'm appearing before all of you at once, I can't even touch anything."

"So he won't be much of any help." the Gamer deduced.

"Depends." I stated, "We can't take on seven people at once either."

"Speak for yourself." Razmere stated.

"Yeah, sure." I retorted, "Anyway, I'm sure he can help us, as long as we don't demand any more from him than we'd demand of ourselves."

"Sounds fair to me." Ana agreed.

"I don't..." Captain N started.

"Me too." Captain S interrupted.

Captain N, looking as though he changed his mind: "Me three."

"Don't try to prove something." I heard Ana say.

"He must see him as competition." I replied.

"What are you talking about?" Ana asked me.

I turned to the only ones who hadn't said anything: "What do you guys think?"

Razmere seemed to think about this before answering: "Alright. This should do."

The Happy Nerd and the Gamer looked at each other, then nodded. They both agreed.

This is when my phone rang. I answered: "Yes?"

"You found your guy?" Hana asked me.

"We have." I answered.

"Good." Hana said, "By the way, remember that place you wanted me to send everyone?"

"Yes?" I replied.

"I manage to find people who know the place. They can be your guides." she told me.

"Great, where are they?" I wondered.

"Already there, waiting for you and everyone else." she answered.

"That was quick." I remarked.

"Their names are Gold and Kris." Hana added, "I'm telling you, because they wouldn't."

I wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean, but I thought I'd find out one way or another. I wanted to say something else, but she hung up. I sighed as I put the phone away.

"Who was that?" Razmere asked me.

"Wish I knew." I replied, "We need to go to Whirl Islands."

"Whirl Islands?" the Happy Nerd sounded concerned.

"Isn't that near Japan?" the Gamer asked, "Coz last time I checked..."

"The people like us, the government doesn't." I interrupted him, "If you actually read my journal, you'd know that."

"Alright, genius." the Gamer sounded somewhat agitated, "And how do you expect us to get there? Do we wait for Superman to drop us off? And don't try to tell me HE is still alive."

That was a great point he brought up. I should've asked Hana about that too. But that's when it hit me. Last time I saw Marco, he was in the Pixel Palace's bar. With any luck, he's still there. Hopefully sober enough to still be able to teleport us anywhere at all.

"I think I got something." I told him, "But we'll have to go back to the Palace first."

"Say no more." Captain S said.


	11. Chapter 11

September 3rd, 2009, Whirl Islands:

On this side of the world, it was already past 10am by the time that every single one of these self-proclaimed critics arrived anywhere near these islands. How they transported themselves there was something which even I couldn't expect. Five different machines, all looking like giant versions of modern day vehicles, safe for one that looked like a giant robotic yellow ape. With these machines, they arrived at the central island of Whirl Islands. Inside, there were arrows indicating them where they had to go, which they followed. This, however did start to raise some questions among the critics.

"I'm sorry." one big blond guy started.

"Yes, Distressful Watcher?" somebody replied.

The guy, the Watcher, asked: "Well Spoony, What are we doing here again?"

That somebody, Spoony, replied: "Well, the Critic had received a message that said somebody wanted to make a deal with us."

"And he wanted us to make it here?" the Watcher still didn't understand.

"I know." Spoony agreed, "Not the best choice, even if he wanted to be discrete. Shows just how desperate these entertainment people are, doesn't it?"

This, the Watcher did seem to understand: "So we may still win this?"

"I'm sure we will." Spoony replied.

Meanwhile, somebody else had other questions: "Isn't this a little too convenient? All these arrows?"

"Well, Film Brain..." somebody answered, "... if you make a date, wouldn't you like your date to know where to go?"

The questioning person, Film Brain, appeared to understand: "I suppose not. Though I don't think this is some place I want my date to be. Is this your idea of one, Chick With The Goggles?"

The one that answered, That Chick With The Goggles, just grinned.

After entering and exiting some tunnels, they finally arrived where they had to be. Much to their dismay, there was nobody there to meet them.

"Alright!" the Nostalgia Critic suddenly made himself heard, "We came! Now what do you want from us? And I must warn you! I still have this Resident of yours in my..."

He didn't finish his sentence, as he realized he didn't actually have anything or anyone in his hands. So he quickly looked around, to see that a certain Bum was holding said Resident. He walked to him, took her out of his hands, then continued: "In my hands!"

Upon that, they all heard a voice coming from the darkness. My voice: "You know, for someone who can easily nitpick on details from any audiovisual medium, you really fall far too easily for the oldest trick in every book."

They all looked about, trying to find the source of my voice. I can remember hearing one of the girls saying: "That's a dark voice."

That's when I decided to come from out of the darkness. Which was just the entrance to another cave, which neither one had used yet. I came out and said: "Thank you for your compliment. Nostalgia Chick, wasn't it?"

Said Chick frowned: "What compliment?"

"Right." I sighed.

"Hey, don't I know you?" the Critic stated.

"Not really." I replied.

"Wait." the one I recognized as the Angry Nerd started, "I know I've seen you somewhere before."

"Maybe you have." I said, "Not that it matters."

"You're the one who wanted to see us?" the one called Linkara started, "You hardly look like anyone in the business."

"And you'd know how someone like that would look like, because...?" I questioned.

"Will you stop being in the way and move out!?" the Assistant pushed me.

I turned to look at her. Somehow, most of her body was out of the shade from the cave, but her face was not, which still had it obscured. How does she manage to keep her face hidden from me all this time?

"Two of you now?" the Critic didn't seem impressed.

"Not counting anyone else in here and out there..." I pointed to other cave entrances in this area, "... yes, there are two of us."

I moved out of the cave, allowing the Assistant, Razmere, the Happy Video Game Nerd, the Irate Gamer, Captain S and Ana to get out. I thought of taking my chance to see the Assitant's face this time, but somehow with other five blocking some of my sight, her face was still obscured.

"I'm not even going to ask now." I said as a reaction to that.

"Ask what?" the Assistant, of all people, asked.

"Happy..." the Angry Video Game Nerd growled.

"Hi there, Angry Nerd!" the Happy Nerd greeted.

"Irate Gamer..." Spoony growled.

"Spoony..." the Gamer growled back.

"Chad?" the one known as Little Miss Gamer couldn't believe it.

"Hi, Z." Captain S replied.

"Razmere, the Assistant, Ana,..." I introduced the others to speed things up, and pointed at myself lastly, "Narrator. We done introducing ourselves?"

The one known as Linkara couldn't understand it: "Narrator? Who calls himself that?"

"Who makes fun of my comics?" a much older voice sounded.

Linkara turned to see where that voice came from. There was another cave, where a man wearing a red coat and red mask exited. Although his suit looked different, it was still recognizable, which made Linkara a little nervous.

"Oh... hi, Spider-Man!" Linkara sounded, "How ya doing? How's your marriage?"

"Completely different from the comics." Spider-Man answered.

"Oh thank god." Linkara replied.

"But I'd have prefered what the comics said to have really happened, over my wife killing herself." Spider-Man added.

This made Linkara shiver. I'm guessing that the only Spider-Man he ever knew was the guy from the comics. He couldn't have known what the real guy was like. So every time he made fun of this one event that the comics described, he'd be making fun of what Spider-Man really felt.

"Let's not forget about us." another voice said.

From behind Spider-Man, a group of people, who all appeared to be in their thirties, appeared.

One of them, a girl who sounded East-European, spoke: "Despite everything we did for the planet, nobody remembers us. We were so happy when Ted Turner wanted to make a show out of us, and you had to ruin it for us?"

"Did it have to suck as much as it did?" the Critic asked them.

"Oh please." another voice sounded.

Hearing that voice, the Critic appeared to shudder. He appeared to hesitate to turn and see who just spoke to him.

"Oh, you gotta be kidding." I heard somebody say.

Slowly, the Critic turned, only to face with the famous film director and comic book artist, Doug Funnie. Upon seeing him, the Critic immediately raised his gun and shot him.

"That... was brief." I remarked, since I didn't know what else to say.

Upon that, the Critic unleashed his rage, and the rest followed. Almost like his roar was some sort a command to the whole pack. Or maybe it was like one central computer commanding other computers to do something. Either way, it took away the element of surprise that everyone else had in mind. Yes, we thought of trying to talk things out, but it appeared as though these critics only understand violence. As much as some of us would have wanted to avoid fighting, these people didn't want it, so what other choice did we have?


	12. Chapter 12

Should you wonder who was there and/or why, here's how it is: when I looked at the list of things that the Critic had reviewed, I asked Hana if she could round up some people that were directly involved with these media he reviewed. I didn't stop there, I also asked if she could check what everyone else on that website reviewed, and find people connected to them. See if they're interested, able, or even willing to help.

One of them, as I already said, was Doug Funnie. His story, as I gather, was that he wanted to be a comic book artist. When he met with some producer, he somehow managed to leave such an impression on him, that the producer decided to make a reality show centred around him, similar to that Truman show that had run for about thirty years, somewhere before the turn of the century. With the fame he gained from that, Funnie's comics "Quailman" became instant hits. So much so, it even allowed him to start making movies at young age, a privilege not many others have had. Unfortunately, this Doug show apparently had left it's mark on the Critic. Don't know how or why, but for some reason the Critic is so angry with Funnie, he had to shoot him on sight. I thought of checking if he's still alive, but the fights between everyone made that difficult.

One person I didn't really expect to happen was to see that Go Green Girl, or G3 as I always called her. Last time I saw her, she was in a heated discussion with some guy who believed that dinosaur fossils aren't real. This time, she was in a heated discussion with the one who called himself the Distressful Watcher.

"I already thought you were disgusting as the Amazing Atheist, but now..." G3 obviously didn't know what word was best to use.

"Yeah, and you've always been just a know-it-all." the Watcher replied, "Why won't you just be a nice little girl and..."

He couldn't finish his sentence, as G3 jumped on him: "Don't you dare condescend me!"

I didn't know, and I still don't know what brought her there, or what this discussion (if I should call it that) was about, but if I hoped others to be a bit more reasonable, I was kidding myself.

Earlier, I mentioned five people, one of whom mentioned a Ted Turner (whoever he is). Another one of these five faced someone who appeared to wear the same T-shirt as him.

"How dare you mock me!" he said, "I'm the real Ma-Ti!"

The other didn't know what else to do, but to point his fist towards him and exclaim: "Heart!"

Nothing happened, until the latter person was punched in his face.

Captain S, being friends with Z, hoped he could talk it out with her.

"Why are you doing this, Z?" he asked her.

"Because I want people to stop remaking old games and make them worse in the process." she answered, "You idiot."

I don't know if Captain S actually heard her say those last two words, but if he did, he didn't pay attention: "But why? You always respected what people did before. Why this sudden change of heart?"

That's when Captain N came in. He came between the two and punched Z in her stomach. This caused a dispute between the two captains.

"What are you doing?" Captain S asked him.

"I'm fighting the bad girl." Captain N replied.

"She's not evil." Captain S assured him.

"She's a terrorist, she must be evil." Captain N bit back.

"You're wrong." Captain S retorted.

"No, you're wrong!" Captain N shouted, which he emphasized by beating up Captain S.

"Captain Naive versus Captain Stupid." I remarked.

While these fights were going on, there was a guy with a camera that kept walking around shooting everything. This Camera-guy was approached by our non-corporeal friend Mike, in the same form as when he introduced himself to us.

"Who are you?" the Camera-guy asked him.

"Why are you filming all this?" Mike asked him.

"I asked first." the Camera-guy said.

"I don't care." Mike replied.

"Then leave me alone." the Camera-guy bit back.

This is when his camera started to make strange sounds. I can only describe those sounds to be similar to when a tape gets stuck in your VCR. The Camera-guy didn't know how that could happen, but soon found someone to blame for it.

"You broke this!" he shouted at Mike.

"You should've answered." he made an excuse.

This is when the Camera-guy decided to attack Mike. I don't know why it is that Mike allowed the Camera-guy to think he can actually beat him, but then I guess that I have no way of knowing what could go on through the mind of something that has no real body.

Ana faced off with the Guitarman. The latter used his guitar on her, as he would use a baseball bat.

"Why are you doing this?" Ana pleaded, "Why would you resort to this sort of violence?"

"Music is about self-expression, right?" the Guitarman questioned, "Well, I'm letting my instruments speak for me."

Though I didn't witness their fight from the beginning, I knew that this was hardly an argument or an answer to her question.

Furthermore, there was the Assistant being beaten down by the Nostalgia Chick, the Game Heroes trying to fight Spider-Man by themselves, the Angry Nerd fighting the Happy Nerd, the Critic beating up an already weak (if not dead) Doug Funnie, Razmere fighting Film Brain, Spoony versus the Gamer, Linkara fighting Marzgurl, Gold and Kris releasing some of their Pocket Monsters to fight off... I didn't even stop to see whom they were fighting, as I suddenly realized that Linkara fighting Marzgurl didn't make much (if any) sense. Those two were supposed to be on the same side.

"You're just a girl with blue hair..." he said, "... AND I AM A MAN!!!"

Linkara was about ready to punch her, but that's when Marzgurl kicked him between his legs.

"You never were much of one." she snickered.

"I see." I mumbled to myself, "Domestic problems."

"Dude!" I heard someone shout, "How awesomely radical!"

I turned to look at who was talking. If my memory served me well at the time, I could assume this one was called 90s Kid.

"Change!" someone called, "You got change!"

"Dude!" 90s Kid shouted at whoever it was that called, "I'm the talker now."

"Well Nine-ma-ties ma-Kid." this other guy, whom I recognized as the Bum, "You got change?"

90s Kid decided to ignore him, so he turned and shouted 'dude' to whoever else was where he was looking.

"Hey come on!" the Bum exclaimed, "Help a guy out here, will ya!"

Someone tapped my shoulder: "Excuse me."

I turned and saw the one who called himself the Sage.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"They call me the Narrator." I replied.

"I know." the Sage said, "But who are you? You see, everyone else here, I've seen them before. But you..."

"Aren't you supposed to be fighting, like everyone else?" I asked him.

"You're right." he said, and punched me.

Or at least he tried. What with having had my Jyuken training, I was able to dodge his attack. I'm sure that the Sage wanted to launch another attack, but one of Gold's monsters (I think this one was called a Typhlosion) pushed him away.


	13. Chapter 13

Seeing as I mentioned quite a few people whom I hadn't even introduced before, I guess you can understand just how chaotic this whole ordeal was. Too chaotic, as my sleep deprivation didn't help me to put all my thoughts and all I saw and heard into order.

At some point, bumped into the Angry Nerd, who was somehow pushed away (I had my back turned to him, so I can't know for sure what happened), and somehow bumped into the Critic.

"Hey! What the fuck!" the Critic shouted.

"What the fuck?" the Nerd repeated, questioningly, "Maybe if you weren't standing here when I'm pushed away..."

"What, so now you're blaming me for someone else pushing you?" the Critic questioned.

"You wanna start our old feud up again?" the Nerd asked.

"Do you?" the Critic replied, raising his fists.

"You on?" the Nerd followed his example.

"You guys ever answer a question?" I asked, but by the time I finished my question, they already started to punch each other.

I suppose I should have intervened then, but thoughtful consideration, what better way to rid the world of a threat, but to have it neutralize itself? Funny of me to even consider this, what with the fact that I even tried to stop these two from killing each other once before. It was this sudden realization that had me a little distracted from all other things, only so I could see some kind of white cloth disappearing around the corner. Someone was trying to sneak out of this very space. And given the white cloth I saw, he or she was wearing something I didn't remember seeing anyone else here wearing, therefor he/she can't be anyone I know. I decided to follow this.

There was what appeared to be some kind of a tunnel that lead a two levels up. And up there, I saw a man wearing a lab coat. That would explain the white cloth I saw, but the question still remained who he is. From up there, anyone could have a perfect view of what was going on below. This lab coat, who kept gloating over what was going on, was so distracted, I hardly even needed to try and sneak up. And once I was close enough, I could see how things were progressing. Other than the Nerd and the Critic back in their own fight, even the Planeteers started to fight each other, the two Captains were still fighting each other, the Guitarman started to fight the Sage, Razmere tried to take on Gold personally, G3 had begun a cat fight with the Assistant, through which her face still remained obscured to me,... that last bit had almost made me sigh, which would have given away my presence to this lab coat guy. But before I did that, I heard Z shout something.

"All right!" she caught everyone's attention that way, "I hoped to avoid it, but not anymore!"

Whatever "it" is that she was referring to, it involved her bringing both of her fists to her right-hand side, to which she also bowed her head, as she tightened her fists. That's when Z stretched out her left arm, still to her right, after which she allowed her left arm to swing back to her left, as she whispered: "Cha..."

Then she bent her left arm, as she stretches up her right arm, which remained at her right side, as she exclaimed: "... ange!"

A blinding flash came, and after a few seconds, something else stood where Z was standing only a short while ago. That something else had the appearance of a robot, though anyone could see that it looked more as though she was wearing a Halloween-suit made out of cardboard boxes, that additionally kept saying something that sounded like "meepmop". At first it didn't seem like much of a threat, so many people just attacked it, upon which they were thrown away by the mere force of it's right arm.

The lab coat guy laughed out loud: "This gets better and better every minute!"

Upon that, Marzgurl suddenly gathered four guys. I don't remember having seen them anywhere before, but whoever they are, much like Marzgurl herself, they had some kind of small box, which they suddenly held up in front of them. Nobody knew what that was about, but I had seen something like this before when I visited Angel Grove. People would hold something up, shout a few words, then suddenly they'd change outfits. Which is exactly what happened here. They changed into what looked like spandex outfits, and once they were changed, they posed as though they were in a photoshoot and called themselves... two words I couldn't make out, but I did understand them saying "Budget Rangers".

This reminded me, when I met Magiel, who gave me my magi-phone, I also met with someone who said she's a Magiranger. Along with her, I met with people who called themselves Zyurangers. When I started taking Jyuken lessons, I learned that I can grow to a point where I'd become a Gekiranger. Those others from Angel Grove I mentioned, I don't know what they were called, but since they resemble these Budget Rangers, I can only assume that they too had "ranger" in their names. In which case, how many of these rangers are there? It was that question popping in my head that had me lost track of what else went on. This way, I missed the reason why (for that matter, how) that cardboard robot suddenly turned itself into a giant, which also meant that the Budget Rangers needed to call upon giant machines that could combine into one robot. And somehow, not sure how or why, but even Captain S had something which he used to turn himself into a giant robot. Yes, I'll just say it, even I am still confused as to what was happening back then. It wasn't until the appearance of that giant machine with a Jesus-head that I mentioned before, that the (all together) four giants really started their fight.

"Not again." I whined.

This is where I did something I shouldn't have done, because the lab coat guy heard me and turned around.

"Ah!" he yelled, "How did you find me?"

I didn't want to answer that question, so instead I asked him: "The real question is... who are you and what are you doing here?"

"Who am I?" he seemed surprised, "You never heard of the notorious, the infamous, the genius that is me? Dr. Insano!"

"No." was my short answer. I thought of asking him how anyone could possibly have a name like Insano, but thought the better of it.


	14. Chapter 14

While everyone else was fighting, I thought it may be best to know why this Insano was spying on everyone, and see why he thought this entire mess was so funny: "I'll repeat my last question. What are you doing here?"

"Just looking at the fruits of my labor, if you catch my drift." he answered, upon which he laughed out loud.

"No I don't catch it." I said, not giving off any emotion at all.

"Oh?" this appeared to surprise Insano, but not for long, "Well you see, ever wondered how they could still be making videos or upload it on the internet?"

"What do you mean?" I didn't know what he was talking about, "Everyone can do that. What does tha..."

I stopped mid-sentence. I remembered that on the first of June, an atomic bomb was detonated, some distance above the U.S.A. While it didn't kill anyone, it did cause an electro-magnetic pulse that destroyed all electrical circuits. I don't know all the details of how this is supposed to work, but it is possible for electrical equipment to survive such a pulse if it wasn't switched on when it happened. Since this bomb exploded at night, when most people are asleep, the chances of all electricity being switched of were slim. Even then, any power plant in the country can't provide any electricity, which would render everything useless either way. So if that's the case, then how could any of these people still be doing what they always did? Unless... this is when a possible answer came to me.

"You're getting it now, aren't you?" Insano asked me.

"You're the one who detonated that bomb?" I asked him.

Insano stopped laughing, for a few seconds before continuing: "Close enough. No, I had nothing to do with it, but I was aware that someone was trying. So I had to make sure that their stuff would still be operational for my plans. Two birds with one stone! I had to install something in their camera's and computers, and at the same time I had to be sure that EM-pulse didn't fry them."

"You just took advantage of the situation?" I asked him.

"You can say that." Insano replied, "Too bad, I had to rush things a little. The point was that the more they'd use their stuff, the more they'd become my own personal slaves."

I wasn't sure how that was supposed to work: "Er... what?"

Rather than answering my question, he continued: "But as you can see, instead they just completely lost it. But... maybe this is for the better. Most of the only people who can stop me are here, so if they manage to destroy each other... NOTHING CAN STOP ME!!!"

He laughed louder than before, but nobody could hear it with all the other noise that was made. I wasn't sure of what this guy was trying to tell me, and he didn't even use techno-babble. But from what I understood, he was rushed into bringing this grant scheme of his (whatever that may be) into fruition, which had some unforeseen side effects. I suppose that would explain what made everyone gone so far out there as they have. I didn't know what else to do, but after everything he told me, I knew that this guy could not remain on the loose. I decided to respond to the last thing he said.

"No THING can stop you." I said, "But some ONE can."

Being a practitioner of Jyuken, I was given some kind of special gloves. Their real purpose for this sport was still lost to me, but I always kept them with me, just in case. And this, I thought was a good time for me to put them on.

"You think you can fight me?" Insano didn't seem impressed.

He took off his lab coat, revealing that he was wearing what looked like a fighting machine. With it, he attacked first. Earlier, when someone was trying to throw a punch at me, I could easily dodge it. But since this guy's speed and strength was increased with that machine he was wearing, that in combination with my lack of sleep, I was no real match for this guy. I tried to throw a few punches at him, but missed each time. So if my own strength wasn't good enough, I thought maybe some magic should help. I took out my magi-phone, and tried to shoot some destructive beams at Insano's machine. Unfortunately, since the machine had me already a little battered, whatever I shot either missed, or hit but didn't cause enough damage. I suppose I should've used magic from the beginning, but I thought it to be a warrior's honor to try with one's own strength first. I still tried one last time to hit Insano with my magic, but he stepped on my arm before I could even raise it to aim.

He laughed: "You thought you could beat me? You could, but you had to use your strongest weapon when you're too weak to use it. Smart. Very smart! If I were you, I'd have won this fight long ago."

This is what got me thinking. This man, who had foreknowledge about the bomb and did nothing to stop it, and instead take advantage of it. Who would use a machine to fight against one man, namely me, of whom he didn't know whether he even had special abilities. In other words, even if I didn't have the things I had at my disposal, he'd still have used his machine. This man was a coward in many ways. And I quite nearly started to feel different about honor, but his words made me remember what honor meant. It helped me remember why I was part of this mess in the first place. This sudden realization, it had me clench my fists again, and I felt some kind of fire burn through me. A fire which this Insano must have seen, as he started to look scared. He stepped away and off my arm. I got up, somehow slowly recovering my strength. I still don't know exactly what it was that happened next, but what with me having been practising Jyuken, which basically helps you release your inner beast, I roared at Insano. This roar, somehow, was strong enough to throw him off this balcony and in the middle of the battlefield.

My roar was heard throughout the area. Even the giants fighting heard it, and seized their battle. They all turned to look at where it came from, where they could see Insano crashland among the whole group of people. Nobody knew what was more confusing, hearing the roar, or seeing a man fly as this one did, but once some of them recognized him, they forgot all about it.

"Isn't that..." Linkara wondered.

"It's Dr. Insano!" Spoony shouted.

Anyone else who recognized him started screaming and yelling.

"Who's Insano?" Ana wondered.

"He's a mastermind criminal." Razmere explained, "You don't want to deal with him. He's that dangerous."

Ana understood: "Wait a minute. He's alone, and we are in group. Don't we have an advantage over him?"

The Critic appeared to be the first to snap out of it: "Dunno who she is, but she's right. Get him!"

Everyone nodded in agreement, and they surrounded Insano.


	15. Chapter 15

"Damn." was the first word I said when I returned back to everyone else.

When everybody heard me say that word, they turned to look at me, which is when I answered, "Last time I did that, I needed help. Looks like I'm making progress."

"In what?" Spoony asked, "Standing by and do nothing?"

Before I could say anything, Ana noticed something: "What happened to you?"

It was strange that she would notice that I was wounded, while nobody else appeared to care, but I answered her anyway: "Apparently this is the result of doing nothing, and not of fighting this guy."

The Guitarman looked at Insano, and noticed he was wearing some kind of heavy machine, which is also responcible for the fact that he hadn't made a move to escape as it was hard for him to get out of the machine-suit. Upon seeing him, the Guitarman spoke: "You took him down? That was a brave thing to do."

"Or maybe he didn't fight him at all and is here lying." Spoony continued.

"Well given that the lot of you have been fighting each other and yet don't have a scratch on you, what does that say about your skills?" I questioned them.

When I noticed that they had no answer (and clearly had no idea that they indeed didn't manage to wound each other), I continued: "So if wasn't me, which one of you would be?"

"An excellent point." I heard the Assistant say, but I couldn't see her.

"It's just like with our last brawl." the Sage said, "We fought long and hard, yet we didn't even bruise."

"Last brawl?" I was surprised to hear that.

"Well, none of you can tell me that I hit like a girl anymore." the Nostalgia Chick suddenly spoke.

"Does this mean I'm getting too old for this?" Spider-Man whined, "That I can't deal any more blows as I used to?"

"You? What about me?" Razmere wondered, "I'm supposed to be the next gen superhero, and I can't even..."

"Okay, okay!" the Angry Nerd suddenly shouted, "I think we've been drifting off here."

"For once, I agree with you, Nerd." the Critic stated, "Coz right now, we still don't know what Insano was doing here."

"You're right about that, Critic." I said, upon which I turned back to Insano, "Why won't you tell them exactly what you just told me back there."

Insano was frustrated, to say the least, but however reluctant he was, he said: "I did this to you."

Everyone looked surprised, so Insano added: "I made you all go crazy. I made you start hurting people."

"Why would you do such a thing?" G3 asked him.

"I meant to turn these people into slaves, so I could use them to take over the world!" Insano replied.

"Of course!" Captain S spoke, which had me look into his direction, as did it make everyone else.

"What?" he wondered.

"All right, how is that even possible?" Film Brain asked him, "What did you do and how could it possibly have the effects you describe?"

"I can tell you..." Insano laughed, "... but you wouldn't understand it."

"Of course, don't you know anything about science?!" Linkara said this with a German accent, which much like Captain S's 'of course' was so misplaced, we all looked at him questioningly.

"So what are you saying?" the Critic wondered, "That all we did so far wasn't our own doing?"

"That we were just hypnotised by Dr. Insano's... things?" the Nerd added.

"Well, I suppose that settles it then." the Happy Nerd concluded, "We found out who caused the trouble, we stopped him, and we stopped you all from going too far. I say we call it a win."

Everyone nodded in agreement, which made me snicker, and slowly laugh out loud.

"What's with him?" the Chick wondered.

"No..." I started, "I'm not gonna let you people cop out of this."

"Cop out?" the Watcher didn't understand, "What do you mean?"

"What this guy tried to do was indeed to badly influence you." I explained, "Unfortunately, he did it all in a hurry, so his plans were still buggy. Still..."

I paused, to be sure I had everyone's attention. Once I was certain of that, I continued: "Still, whatever he did wasn't without it's effects."

"Yeah, we already know that!" the Gamer sounded annoyed, "What's your point, Narrator?"

"Now seriously, what kind of a name is that?" the Nerd wondered.

"Don't try and change the subject!" I tried to keep everyone's attention, "As I was saying, whenever you look, play or read some medium, all it takes for you is just the one thing that's wrong with it, and you'd start nitpicking over every detail that's wrong with it, which anyone else wouldn't even notice or care about. The lot of you can easily go crazy over something stupid. If you were to ever start the rampage you caused, it wouldn't surprise me at all. All that this "doctor" did was just speed things up, to a point that you all together start this up."

"In other words, we can't just blame this Insano person..." Ana spoke, which seemed to light up Insano's day until she finished her sentence, "... alone."

"Exactly." I replied.

"Alright." the Critic admitted, "But you have to admit, what they dare to release upon us... you can't say it's all good either."

"Yeah!" Linkara agreed, "I mean, Spider-Man, didn't you like it better when Stan Lee started to chronicle your adventures?"

Spider-Man nodded: "Marvel doesn't even read the papers anymore. Doesn't even know what I did when those aliens attacked New York four years ago."

"And don't get me started on that 'Dork Knight' movie either." Razmere said.

"That's 'Dark Knight', and YOU are a dork just for hating it!" the Critic stated.

"ENOUGH!!!" I shouted, "You see what I mean? I agree that some of today's media stink, and desperately needs change."

"Change?" the Bum yelled, "Who's got change?"

I decided to ignore him: "But seriously, 'you're a dork just for hating it'? Can I therefor assume that if you managed to take over the entertainment industry, you'd make media that suit your taste only?"

"That's a very good question." the Happy Nerd agreed.

"Hey! Everyone likes that 'Dark Knight' movie." the Critic reasoned.

"Clearly not." I reminded him, "Look, you want things to change, you make some better medium yourself. If you try to force others to change, it won't work. Not only because not everyone will like what you like, nor will everyone hate what you hate. Already, some fine ideas never make it to the press, and if you people will be at the head of it all, seeing your attitude, more fine ideas will go down the drain."

"You call those Jack Slater movies fine ideas?" Film Brain asked.

"That's besides the point." I replied, "My point is that more people will try to have their work published. And if their works must fit within your idea of what's good, then that would take away their creativity, as well as their freedom to create anything at all. You still want to take over the industry, fine. But don't expect there won't be people opposing it."

Everyone went deep into thoughts about this. Eventually, it was Marzgurl who spoke: "He's right. Maybe we should try and make better media ourselves first. Especially you, Linkara."

"Me?" he questioned, "I already have!"

"You call that mediocre comic of yours better?" she replied.

"Here we go again..." I remarked, as I saw those two bickering.


	16. Chapter 16

Aside of their bicker, I saw everyone else starting to say things to each other. I couldn't make out everything they said, but it did seem like they were rethinking some things, even apologizing where an apology was needed.

Should you wonder, somewhere amidst the murmur, Insano managed to get out of his fighting-suit, but was immediately stopped by Gold and Kris. Kris took one of her Pocket Balls, from which she released some kind of a huge bird. It surprised me that everyone else missed it, but either way, the bird grabbed hold of Insano, and with Gold and Kris on it's back, it flew away. When I first entered this cave, I did notice there were some holes in the ceiling, which allowed some of the outside light inside, but since giant monsters suddenly arrived to fight, much of that roof was destroyed. And I'm guessing most of the debris somehow fell out of the cave rather than in. Anyway, I knew the giant monsters did that, but it wasn't until I saw this bird flying away that I actually saw that there wasn't much left of the ceiling.

Ana caught me by surprise: "You were doing good back there."

While still trying to recover from the surprise, I replied: "I did? I'm not so sure."

"Well, you got people to listen, and clearly you changed something the way most of them felt about each other."

"For now, maybe." I said, "But even a truce between two countries at war doesn't always last long."

"That's a rather pessimistic way to look at things." Ana remarked.

I shrugged: "I'd say realistic, but..."

"Wait a minute!" the Critic suddenly yelled, interrupting what I wanted to say.

Like everyone else, I looked at the Critic, who spoke: "Now I remember where I've seen you before."

"Now what?" I heard Ana wonder.

"Given his tone, I'm sure I'm not gonna like this." I answered.

"Excuse me?" Ana managed to ask, just before the Critic continued.

"You were there at Celebrity Deathmatch, weren't you?" the Critic asked.

"Yeah, he was, now that you mention it." the Nerd realized it.

"We know." Captain S confirmed, "I was there too."

"I remember you saved our lives back then." the Critic continued.

"What's not to like about that?" Ana asked me.

"We even gave you our e-mail addresses, so we could stay in contact.

I was planning on saying "here it comes", but thought the better of it.

"But the address you gave us doesn't work." the Critic added.

"Doesn't work with you too?" Captain S asked.

"Neither with me." the Nerd said.

"Or me..." Z sounded somewhat angered by this.

"So..." the Critic started.

"You're here preaching about how we should respect others, yet you'd lie to people about how to contact you?" Captain S wondered.

"Actually, the..." I started but wasn't allowed to finish.

"Is that how you treat your friends?" Ana asked me.

"No." I answered, "I..."

"This is how you thank me for helping you back there?" the Bum asked me.

While it is true that what I did at Celebrity Deathmatch wasn't something I could've done without the help of the Bum, but how that tied with me not giving my real address to the others, was a complete mystery.

"What were you really trying to do here?" Linkara asked me.

"I didn't even w..." I tried to say.

One after another, they started to get really hostile towards me. Even Ana, with whom I had already established a friendship that lasted for over a year.

The Critic hissed: "You call yourself a narrator..."

"Er..." I tried to reply, "Actually, it was..."

The Critic wouldn't listen: "Let's see you narrate your way out of this one!"

Everyone got ready to attack me. I would've used that roar I used before, but the fact that I had to use it once already (which does cost a lot of energy) in combination with my sleep deprivation, I had no chance of trying to take on even one of them.

Improvising, I pointed behind them: "Hey, is that Bee-jork?"

The Critic immediately turned away from me: "What? Where?! Where is that bitch?!"

Others, who either hated that person, whose name I just mentioned, just as much as the Critic does, were curious to see the person, or didn't understand why I'd point behind him,... in other words, each for their own reason, they too turned to look, which was exactly the kind of distraction I needed. I turned and ran away. In a daze, I thought of trying to be funny and say "ittekimasu" (which is Japanes for "I'm off" (I practise a Japanese martial art, I'm bound to come across some Japanese phrases)) as I ran. It wasn't until I heard Marzgurl reply "itterasshai" ("see you later") that I realized the mistake I made, which forced me to run a little faster. The thought that I may not be able to escape them, especially given my condition (and for that matter, their own, as they were possibly still more or less under Insano's influence), had crossed my mind, but then I thought to myself I should try to think less about my condition, focus on how to escape them, and hope that I eventually would.

**THE END**


End file.
